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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A Solemn Word on Provocation

Hey all, this weekend was not very good for me and the week has started out on a fairly dull note as well, but I would like to halt it before it continues, so I am going to write this post in hopes of clearing these thoughts off my mind and hopefully this also helps someone else out there because this is something that frustrates me so much.
Monday and this whole weekend in general, I had a bad attitude. Yes. I know and I am genuinely sorry if you happened to cross my path and I was not very pleasant. There's no need for excuses as such and I'd rather speak a bit on how people provoke you to anger and expect you never to crack.


First of all, like you, I AM human. I get upset, sad, emotional, happy, excited, everything you get. Please do not expect me to not feel and emotion when you present me with a situation. That would make me a robot and NOT a human. What I do understand is that I do not need to show everything that crosses my mind or say everything that could possibly cross my lips, but some times we as human beings do get a bit tired of holding it in. Sometimes it explodes into a huge mess, and yes I do know the repercussions could be terrible but it's a lesson learntfor both you and me. (or at least I would hope so)

That being said I would like to move onto being provoked or tested as some people say. Bajans sometimes exclaim, "God give me strength" or "Lord give me patience", which I admit are good things to ask for. But the wrong comes when some people persist in "testing" this patience you have. They push and push, and I'm not sure they always realise it but, it really affects the person they do it to. sometimes you can try to escape that person, don't talk to them, ignore them, something like that to help yourself, but what do you do if that person is a parent, a sibling, a family member? That I say is a huge problem. Family's supposed to love you regardless, and don't get me wrong it's not that I don't love my family, because I do, but sometimes I'm sure we'd all like to trade in a few characters for a newer model. They're not supposed to provoke you to anger constantly, they're supposed to support you, right? And the same goes back your way; that's what I think at least.

I'm not going to lie, sometimes I'm not the most supportive or nice sister, or daughter but what I try NOT  to do is provoke people when I see they are already having a hard time. I think that is already a very supportive thing to do. If some one is upset, the best thing you can do is hear them out, comfort them, let them calm down, then you can help them out by saying where they went wrong and whatsnot. The absolute WORST thing to do when a person is upset is to ADD to their load, because you may not know where their anger is stemming from, nor are you helping by criticising them for being angry, or having a feeling in general. Which actually brings me back to the point, WE ARE ALL HUMAN.

Currently I'm not very religious, sort of looking into something, but that is not the subject of this post. I would just like to share this verse from the Bible (NIV) Ephesian 6:1-4:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honour your father and mother"--- which is the first commandment with a promise--- that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord
Now this verse represents something, it's open to interpretation of course, but what I remember about this verse is my mother always saying that first line when I was rude to her. Yes I am not the best child in the world and I can admit it, but what is even more amazing about this verse (to me at least), is that it also has an instruction for the parent. Basically saying "do not provoke your children". (I think the KJV says it like that actually). Bringing me back to the role of the family I mentioned. If you respect your child, then respect them to respect you back. Do NOT provoke them with your actions or words. I know many Bajan parents (family members in general), blurt out mean things to their families in a fit of rage. I do it too, and it is one of those habits I and many others need to stop, because it tests the patience of someone already dealing with a lot that you may not even know of.

Dealing with overwhelming feelings and holding them all in is already very hard, and when someone comes and rains a load of crap on your already crumbling parade, that just kills it. You feel like giving up, giving in. I know because I get that feeling too. I can only be as optimistic as my support allows. By the way, when family fails you on support, the next best thing are good friends. Not people or influences to lead you astray, but persons who will comfort you in the right ways. I'm glad that I have amazing friends who support me when I need it the most and I hope I'm do a good job at trying to do the same for them.

Oh yes, I should also mention, sometimes when you're walking around gloomy or upset, that might offset other people too. I would know, because I do it. Usually I would try to stay away from unfamiliar people at this time because it creates a skewed perspective of you and that's a whole other story. But sometimes you have to be out there and I'm telling you, it is almost as frustrating to put that dumb smile on your face when you feel like the sky is a hundred shades darker or like the devil is playing tricks on you. That is something I have to learn to change, but for now I would like to apologise to anyone who I was rude to or made worry because I was upset.

On a closing note, please remember that everyone has feelings and you can't always expect them to take everything with a smile.

Sometimes frustrated but always human,
Christina

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